


Shattered

by Wayward_Psych_Nurse



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crossover, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 08:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19169617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Psych_Nurse/pseuds/Wayward_Psych_Nurse
Summary: Amelia is 18. She lives with the Winchesters. She is struggling with low mood and self harm. This something she has been hiding from the Winchesters since she started hunting with them it’s something she has battled with since she was 13. One day they find out and their reaction isn’t exactly what she expects. The same day they discover her secret they receive a phone call from an unlikely person and this phone call gives them access to what they need to attempt to save Amelia’s life. Whether she wants them too or not. Will the collision of two worlds be enough to reach a troubled girl?





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, So i'm having a rubbish time at work at the moment and my main way of managing this is to imagine stories hence this one. Anyway this story has descriptions of self harm, forced medication and mental illness. So there is a trigger warning in place from now. Please don't read if this will upset or trigger you. I've chosen to cross over Marvel and Supernatural because simply their two of my favourite things. I've been dying to post stories to this website for a while and I did have one that was very similar to this but I've reworked it and turned it into a cross over.Anyway, thank you for reading this. if you are affected by anything in this story please reached out. Remember you are not alone!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the ramblings of a stressed individual :)
> 
> Also chapter titles are from the song Shattered by Trading Yesterday

*TRIGGER WARNING: DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM*

 

“Man, I’m wiped” Dean announced as he pushed the heavy door to the bunker open with a groan. Holding it to allow me and Sam to file in. we had just returned from our latest hunt. A simple run of the mill sale and burn nothing too exciting still the host had put up a fight before we were able to torch her. Thank god no one of us were badly hurt. The three of us climbed down the stone winding staircase into the heart of the men of letters bunker. Dean threw the duffle bag full of supplies onto the table before throwing himself into the nearest chair with groan.  
“Sammy, grab me a beer with ya?” He asked his younger brother, resting his feet onto the table. Sam rolled his eyes before stalking off into the kitchen muttering under his breath. I stood awkwardly near the table, suddenly feeling on edge and out of place. I pulled the bag of weapons towards me and began to pull weapons out of the discarded bag. I pulled a small knife out and became distracted by the way the sharp, cold blade caught the light.  
“Leave that ‘Melia. Come sit down.” Dean spoke causing me to drop the knife in shock. I crossed over to him and sank down into an unoccupied chair. Folding my hands in front of me.  
“You ok?” he asked his soft green eyes glazed with worry.  
“Yeah. I’m good.” I replied.  
“You sure? You seem I dunno distracted.”  
“I said I’m fine Dean!” I snapped at him. Dean held his hands up and didn’t push the conversation any further. Sam returned from the kitchen holding three chilled beers. He handed me once, passing the other to Dean. I held the cool bottle in my hand but didn’t take a sip. My leg bounced up and down gently as I tried to gain control of my racing thoughts. I was feeling unsettled, triggered but I couldn’t pin point why or what had unsettled me so much. I had been struggling with these thoughts for the majority of the day and they were now starting to bubble to the surface overwhelming me. My skin was humming, itching for the string of a blade, the release of blood. I placed my untouched drink on the table and folded my arms across my chest. I subconsciously rubbed my arm right over the spot where cuts in various stages of healing were concealed by the flannel.  
“Amelia?” I heard Dean say. I snapped out of my trance and looked up. Both he and Sam were looking at me concern etched on both their face.  
Hmm, What sorry?”  
“Are you sure you’re ok? Are you hurt?” Dean asked nodding towards my arm. I glanced down and noticed how I was holding it.  
“What? No I’m fine. My arm’s fine.” I said as I slowly stood up, setting off down the corridor.  
“Wait. Where are you going?” Sam called after me.  
“Bathroom. “ I replied. 

Once inside the bathroom. I locked the door firmly and walk towards the sink. Pulling my phone out of my pocket as I did. I tore the case off pulling out the razor that I kept hidden in there. I placed the phone and the case on the sink. I rolled the sleeve of my blue flannel shirt up, revealing my mutilated arm. My arm told the story of my journey into self mutilation. Some of the scars were small, pale in colour harder to see unless you know they were there. Others were just beginning to scab over no more than a couple of days old. I remembered the first time I self harmed. I was 13 and it had been a typically horrible day at school. I had hidden in the bathroom and I remember becoming so infuriated with my own reflection that I’d hit out at the mirror causing it to shattered. The glass had cut me. I had been mesmerised by the crimson blood trickling down my arm and I’d felt this undeniable sense of relief at watching the blood trickle down my arm, it was almost like my problems were going with it.  
I was 18 now. I’d met the Winchesters a few months ago. I had been working in some dive bar just trying to make enough money to get by when they had stumbled in bloodied and beaten from a hunt. My school first aid class had finally come in handy. I was able to patch them both up. They’d both seemed quite taken with me god knows why. I told them I was alone and living in some crappy motel just down the road from the bar. It was then they invited me to join them. Out of pity more than anything I’d guessed.  
The Winchesters always appeared to care for me. They didn’t know about my cutting though. I’d done everything in my power to hide it from them, which wasn’t always easy, given that hunting wasn’t an injury free profession. I’d also had a couple of close calls with Castiel, the angel with no concept of personal space or privacy. I had been trying to stop cutting but I just couldn’t. I never thought something like cutting could be so addicting but it was. I never in a million years imagined I’d be in this situation battling with the urge to harm myself, never thought I’d be craving the feel of the blade on my skin or the feeling of blood flowing down my arm. Yet here I was locked in a bathroom battling away with myself trying to prevent another relapse. It wasn’t like my life was bad, sure I had a little bit of trauma in my life a bit of bullying at school, an abusive relationship and a rocky relationship with my family. It wasn’t like anything bad had happened today either.  
“Fuck it.” I muttered under my breath, as I took the blade to the skin just above my elbow. I placed the cold metal to my skin, I could feel my skin tingling at the feel of it. There was a small part of me that wanted to walk out of the bathroom and speak to Sam and Dean. Ask them for help, tell them how much I was struggling. But there was another park of me that didn’t want to stop, didn’t want help and currently that part was winning.  
A small sigh passed my lips as I dragged the razor across my skin, opening a small section, crimson blood bubbled at the wound before flowing slowly down my arm. I went to make a second cut just below the first when there was a knock on the door. I jumped causing the blade to bite deeper into my soft flesh. “Fuck” I muttered as I dropped the razor into the sink. This wound was a lot deeper than I’d meant to go.  
“Amy?” It was Sam. “Everything okay in there?” The youngest Winchester called through the door.  
“Y-yeah, Yeah. Everything’s fine Sam.” I called back as I frantically looked around for something to help stem the bleeding. I grabbed some toilet roll and press a wad of it to the wound.  
“You sure?” Sam called back. I could jus picture him standing pressed against the door, his brown eyes clouded with worry.  
“Yeah.” I called again. ‘Please go away, please go away’. I muttered quietly under my breath.  
“Amelia, can you open the door please?” I heard Dean call.  
“No!” I shout too quickly. “I’m fine, honest. I’m just gonna take a quick shower.” My voice came out higher and way more pressured then it should have, panic was rising inside me there was no way they could see me like this.  
“Amelia, Open the door sweetheart.” Dean called softly.  
“Honestly, I’m fine you can go.” I shouted back.  
“Amelia, open the door.” Dean shouted again. I ignore him, jumping when the door was hit harder this time. “Dammit Amelia, you’ve been off since we got back. Open the door or I swear I’ll break it down.” I heard Sam scold him for his outburst.  
“Amelia, you’ve been in there over an hour. Are you sick? Are you hurt? We’re just worried that’s all.” Sam called softly.  
I looked down at my arm. I guess I am sick. No well person does this to themselves.  
“I’m fine, please just leave me alone.” I called back. I could hear hushed conversation from behind the door, but no sound of footsteps walking away from the door. Why couldn’t they just leave me alone? Why did they always need to know what was going on? Does it really matter that I’ve been in the bathroom for over an hour? Couldn’t they just leave me peace?  
“Amelia? Please just open the door.” Sam called softly.  
“Leave me alone!” I shouted, gripped the edges of the sink.  
“Can’t do that sweetheart! Dean shouted back.  
“Why not? Huh?” I glanced down at the wound on my arm and panic when I see that it had bled though the wad of toilet roll.  
“I think they’d prefer to have this conversation face to face.” A voice from inside the bathroom said. My blood ran cold. I lifted my head slowly and looked in the mirror. There behind looking confused and a little bit irritated was Cas. I almost threw up. This was not an ideal situation at all. My arm was uncovered. I had two open bleeding wounds on my arm and there’s a blade lying in the sink. I slowly turned around keeping my arms behind my back puling my sleeve down as I turn. Sucking in air as my sleeve rubs the toilet paper against my open wound. Cas stares at me intently.  
“I don’t understand.” He said simply.  
“Cas? What’s going on? Is she ok?” Dean shouted through the door breathing the angels focus on me.  
“Please Cas just go.” I begged. Trying to keep my breathing steady this entire situation was a nightmare. He turned from me and began to make his way towards the locked bathroom door.  
“I can’t do that. The Winchesters are very concerned about you.” He replied not looking at me. I take a step back towards the sink and slowly scoop the fallen blade out of the sink, cringing slightly as it slipped out of my fingers, hitting the sink. Cas turned to look at me. I quickly grabbed the blade. I flinched as I felt it sink into the sensitive skin on the palm on my hand. I closed my fist around it causing it to sink deeper. Cas continued to stare at me before he shook his head and turned back to the door. He unlocked it and the door burst open the second the lock released.  
The brothers entered both had worry and confusion etched on their faces as they looked me up and down.  
“’Melia? You ok?” Sam asked.  
I nodded. “Yes. I’m fine. You’ve seen I’m alive now can you leave?”  
“I believe Amelia is in some distress.” Cas said.  
“I’m distressed because you lot won’t leave me alone.” I bit back at the angel. I could feel the blood pooling in my clenched hand.  
“I believe she’s concealing something.” Cas added. My stomach lurched. Had he seen the blade? He couldn’t have could he? I mean he could have heard it. “She’s keeping her hands behind her back and I heard something hit the sink when I went to open the door.  
“I….Cas I’m not hiding anything.”  
Sam and Dean threw each other a look before taking steps towards me, I side stepped so that they could look in the sink.  
“What?” I glanced over and sure enough there was a very small drop of crimson blood.  
“Oh…. I ummm had a nosebleed before. I mustn’t have go all the blood off.”  
“The sink’s not wet, you didn’t wash it out. You didn’t have a nosebleed did you?” Sam asked.  
“I did…I just.” I panicked my brain scrambling to find another lie.  
“You’re still bleeding.” Cas pointed out, drawing everyone’s attention to the slowly growing puddle of crimson that was forming just behind me.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's chapter one. I hope it wasn't too terrible.
> 
> Leave a review if you want. I'll try and post Chapter 2 soon. I'm on nightshift tomorrow so it'll be when i finish my run of nights :)


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